REVIEW: NEUROHEADZ FESTIVAL 2022 || 16.07 || #27

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There’s something filthy happening just north of Malmesbury…..

It’s been an absolute nightmare getting out and about in the last couple of years. The scene took a massive beating at the hands of our disgusting wreck of a government and it’s been a long recovery. But you can’t kill something with this many teeth, and it’s just sprouted some new gnashers…

Neurofunk doesn’t get nearly enough love in the UK, and it’s a damn shame. ‘Old Blighty’ is Drum and Bass’s homeland. The gritty and dark Techstep that Neurofunk was born from was huge in the very late 90s and early 00s, but since then it’s all gone a bit ‘foghorns and badmanz’.

However, last weekend a big phat pile of hope smashed its way into the scene. This was in the form of the NEUROHEADZ Festival. The UK’s FIRST Neurofunk dedicated festival! STONX were there to enjoy!

Taking over some land in the ancient, history-steeped county of Wiltshire NEUROHEADZ festival took place on July 17th and oh my days did it go off like the Georgia Guidestones!


A small affair for it’s first outing, around 150-200 lovers of all things chug and yargh descended upon the site in, well quite frankly a very orderly and friendly fashion as the event warmed up.

There was a main stage, a second stage (okay it was some speakers in a biffa bin but it was sickkkkkkk), food and drink and an area for camping. Everything was well laid out, kept simple and there was plenty of space for everyone.

Artists that were playing [Not reviewing individually because a) Reporter was too busy dancing and totally lost track of what was going on and b) because they all absolutely f**cking slayed it] :

BEAST JANE

CYNTAX

EXULT

KAIZEN FLOW

KONQUEST

SOVRYN

TRACED

TRANSFORMA

You can click through to all their music above! Honestly, every DJ had the crowd absolutely losing it so you see any of those names on a line-up. You buy a ticket my friend.

But without a good sound system, nobody would have known just how much they smashed it. So a big shoutout has to go to the Oh My Gosh Sound System! That big purple f**ker was crisp as KFC and Bassy like pitched down Barry White!


The crowd and festival attendees deserve solid praise in addition. The atmosphere was absolutely incredible, safe, welcoming, and endlessly entertaining. There wasn’t a single moment without smiles, dancing, and general well-intentioned mischief.

To summarise, for the price that was paid, Neuroheadz festival paid back tenfold with an absolute stomper of a day and night. Buy your tickets and go now, because it’s gonna be huge soon (so you can be one of the cool kids standing there being like ‘ohhhhh this used to be so intimate mannnnn I was here at the start’ and you know you want that) so get ahead of the game sonny.

12/10 F**king ruthlessly good fun.

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